No matter what anyone says in the moment, women want men they and other people admire. See this poor example from one online profile:
“I cannot really evaluate myself…I know what I want from life, and it depends on the next two years if I get it or not. So if you can accept that I hope that I will hear from you.”
Yikes! Really? You have no self-knowledge? This is man who is NOT in control of his life. H’es hanging by a thread. Dependent on the decisions of other men. He has zero masculine attraction. A lot of dating advisors tell men they need to display alpha tendencies. The truth is not every man is an “alpha male” – the leader of his group of peers. But he, you MUST be the leader of your own life. You MUST know your direction. You MUST know what you value. You MUST be self-reflective and be able to self-correct without defensiveness or embarrassment on a dime.
This above guy can’t even take the leadership position of evaluating his own life, much less living it! A child hopes. A man plans. A man acts. A man directs, adapts and steers. Inspiring hope is a great thing, especially if you’re running for office. But living off hope diminishes your masculinity and your appeal.
Language rule: replace any time you use the word “hope” with “plan” — it’s a clue to how serious you are about accomplishing anything in life. And how seriously women will take you. This above guy can’t articulate direction, internal power or the strength of an inner compass, which are — and as you will see this in later chapters — precisely the most IMPORTANT qualities women value in men!
Direction, purpose, high service inspires women to surrender to you, to trust you, to follow you. Whatever you want to call it — it both triggers their instantaneous attraction and inspires their enduring devotion.
So pull out any indication that
- You don’t know yourself.
- You are not living by your own lights
- That you are dependent on others for your direction
- That you feel powerless to create your life according to your deepest beliefs.
Women want to go on a ride with a man who is
fulfilled and seeking greater fulfillment. Who
is up to something important with his life.
So find any ways you are articulating loss of direction, confusion, hopelessness — anything that suggests you are not steering your life somewhere appealing.
Discovering where you put yourself down or communicate despondence in any way — this is a great opportunity to see where you need to make changes in your life!
Make those changes in your life. And begin by setting your honest intentions in your profile. Even if you feel that you are not in control of your destiny now, if you lay down your highest intentions, the way in which you plan to stand as a real man in this world who makes a difference — you may find just the woman who will be inspired by and support that vision — and help you make that happen.
And THAT — that, in my book, is the very best kind of woman there is.