Women want your boldness. They crave it. So our theme of 2013 will be: BOLDNESS.
Boldness is what you require to take your already attractive qualities and make them MAGNETIC and MASCULINE to women. Like picking up a coin and polishing it to a shine, without apology. Right now, you’re hiding. Ask women – they will tell you straight-out.
You are hiding your male sexuality because you think it’s inappropriate.
You’re hiding your desire because you’re afraid of getting shot down.
You’re hiding your kind, open-hearted, nurturing nature because other guys told you it’s “wussy.”
You’re hiding your fearless claim of beautiful women because you think they don’t want that – but they do (sometimes)!
You’re hiding because you’ve still got voices in your head whispering that you’re “not good enough” or that because you’ve “failed” in the past, you don’t deserve success now.
How much better would your life be if you could rid yourself of all this hemming-and-hawing? All this hesitancy? All of this debilitating low-level fear? This next year, we are going to MASTER Boldness. Because don’t want you playing on the surface. I want STRUCTURAL change for you. Unbreakable CONFIDENCE in your abilities, your gifts, your goodness – all supported by the easeful boldness to offer these things to high-esteem women.
How do you get there?
You don’t focus on goals. You focus on PROCESSES. Mastery in life comes from knowing that everything is practice. Everything is process. Everything is learning.
John Wooden, legendary UCLA Basketball Coach said…
“I was a fine game coach. I think I was a good practice coach. I could tell you right now what we did at every practice I had at UCLA – every day,e very minute. It’s all on paper.”
I want to give you three Practices right now…
For 2013, these are the processes I want you to focus on. To make you happier inside. To make you more attractive to women the instant they meet you. To make you more successful with women, so you can live the life you want.
1: Commit to Release Consistently
Know why zombie movies are popular? Because most people already are zombies. By that I mean they stumble through life pre-programmed. Not to eat flesh, but to live out the programming they received as kids and in early relationships.
You are not your past. You are not your past. You are not your past.
Your thoughts, your habits, your tendencies are not “you.” They are just programs from the past and they can be changed. Remember – I was hopeless with women when I got divorced. Ashamed, unconfident, needy. It took a lot of practice. It took a lot of great coaching from great teachers. It took a lot of errors and course-correction, but because I learned to release all the negative ideas about myself jammed into my head, I walk free in the world today. And women feel that.
Watch my Dr. Phil episode – the woman in the yoga class looked at me and said, “what I like about you is that you’re vulnerable.” I said – “I’m open.” Meaning – I’m unguarded. I’ve released the past. I’m genuinely here, now, present and ready for anything. I want you to possess that easeful power.
The truth is that you MUST clean house before you put new furniture in. Same for your mind. If you are carrying negative ideas about yourself that your ol’ drunk dad, your angry ex or your lousy bully neighbor stuffed into your head – then I can talk myself blue teaching you how to approach, write to or make love to women – but it won’t stick – because you’ll still be running your zombie-tapes.
Waking up from the bad dream of negative ideas is your inner zombie-killer. Stay close with me throughout 2011 and we’ll kill some zombies.
2. Commit to Trade in “Game” for “Play”
Throw away this damned idea of “The Game.” Yes, there are powerful and useful skills to be had from Neil, Mystery etc. But the whole focus on “number-closing” and “kiss-closing” KILLS THE FUN OF IT ALL. And it also has caused you more misery than simply staying home and watching reruns of Weeds.
Look, there are two approaches here, as there are in life.
One is that every moment is a game that you win or lose. The other is that it is all PLAY. If you head out into the night to talk to women, have fun with women, tease them, teach them, learn from them and generally leave everyone happier than when you met them – YOU CAN’T LOSE!
And without the fear of losing, you are free from that tarnish of fear that so may wear on themselves. In 2013, you’ll learn more about how to boldly PLAY in the world rather than cramp yourself into the self-recriminating machinations of “gaming” women.
How to be the engine of happiness. The engine of fun. The engine of lightness. The engine of depth. All without fear of failure. Because when you play, there is no failure.
3. Commit To Consistently Revealing Your True Goals
Its good to have a family. Friends. A society. Teachers. Books.
But the danger is, you can take on other people’s goals. I have seen, over and over, in this community that men feel as if they have to be “like” someone else. That you have to pick up girls anywhere anytime to feel good about yourself. But maybe you want one girlfriend. Maybe you want to start a family. Maybe you only want spiritually open girls, or maybe only bisexual girls.
The point is – you have to continually strip out other people’s ideas of happiness to continue revealing to yourself what YOU really want. As the saying goes, there’s no point leaning your ladder up against the wrong roof. Go where YOU want to go. Stay in integrity with the life YOU want to create.
Otherwise, you’ll be beating yourself up about not hitting goals you don’t really want to hit anyway. What a waste!